Caroline's Blessing pictures

Here are some of Caroline's blessing pictures. If only I was a professional photographer! Good thing she is so pretty to make up for bad pictures:)

I spent far too much time and made her blessing dress, shoes and headband. I embroidered the bottom edge and shoes to match. I was pleased with how it turned out but decided on this project to just accept life's imperfections:)

Happy Halloween!

It is nice to know, even in the midst of trials and grief, we can dress up, play pretend and escape to an evening of fun and sugar. Halloween is just wonderful with children!

This year Liza went dressed as a ballerina princess hybrid and Ethan stuck with his long picked theme of 'Robot'.  They were adorable and raked in the candy! Since it rained on Halloween evening Ethan was well protected in his tin foil while poor Liza got a little wet. Even so they were persistent and without notice to the wet, trudged forward without fear collecting treats by the handfuls.

I guess Elizabeth does take after me in some regard--she wouldn't smile for the picture!

My brother Ben

I try very hard to keep this blog as up beat and happy as possible. I actually do that for myself so on hard days I can reread my posts and remember how blessed I am. But sometimes sad things happen that are a major part of life and need to be recognized.

My little brother Ben passed away on October 13th. The day Caroline was blessed. It was a bitter, unexpected, surprise that stung more than I could have imagined. Craig, Caroline and I were able to attend his funeral in Idaho that week which was a blessing.

Ben is my little brother. I remember giving him a bottle of apple juice as a baby, I remember his baptism, I remember mom accidentally shaving his head bald the night of the pinewood derby and everybody rubbing it for luck. He took it with a smile and raced his car enthusiastically. He was my partner in crime, he was my rival growing up, he was my friend, he was hilarious to joke with, he was fun to explore new places with, he drove me crazy, he made me laugh. He is my little brother who I will miss forever in this life.

I will always be greatful for a talk given by Elder Uchtdorf a year ago about healing relationships, particularly sibling relationship. I felt impressed to call him that week an apologize for all the horrible things I did and said to him when we were kids. I was an awful older sister.  I can remember one instance where Eric and I  created a treasure map that led him all over the yard. It ended with an X and he dug all afternoon to find his treasure. Sadly, we were horrible and had planted an old chocolate box with a dirty diaper inside. Sufficeth to say: I was HORRIBLE. When I told him I was sorry and that I loved him, he laughed and said he had deserved all the tricks we played on him anyway. To my great relief he forgave me. I do believe it was divinely inspired that I felt impressed to talk with him that day.

The whole terrible night I learned of his passing the only words that came to my mind over and over were:

"Lead, Kindly Light, amidst th'encircling gloom,
Lead Thou me on!
The night is dark, and I am far from home,
Lead Thou me on!
Keep Thou my feet; I do not ask to see
The distant scene; one step enough for me."

I felt more encircled by gloom than ever before in my life. Yearning desperately to be with my family, yet on the other side of the continent, I prayed with all my heart to God. I prayed for my brother and my remaining family. I felt a glimmer of hope. It was almost too dull to notice, but there it was. My knowledge of God. My knowledge of a kind and loving Savior. I know He lives. I know he died and atoned for us, for me, for my brother. I feel more inspired than ever before to reach for Him, to love and serve my family and show the kindness He did to all I know.

I believe Ben is in a better place now. Surrounded with love and both of my Grandfathers who love and care for him. I imagine him chatting with the great characters of history sometimes and wonder what kind of questions he is asking them:)

I miss you Ben. I will see you again.  

Caroline Mae's Blessing Day

We blessed Caroline on October 13th. It was a beautiful event. I am so happy her Daddy was able and worthy to give her a priesthood blessing. She was blessed with beautiful promises that touched my heart. I felt strongly as the blessing was given that this little girl is a special girl and that her Father in Heaven loves her. Her potential is limitless.

It's hard to describe the depth of a mothers love. What I love is that as deep as my love for her is, God's love is even greater. And His love, is actually worth far more than mine. I felt this on that Sunday morning. I felt that God loved her, and if God loves my little baby girl as much as I do and probably more (again, hard to fathom) her worth is of eternal importance. This beautiful child, born with talents and abilities, is loved by God so much that he gave his Son, Jesus Christ, for her. Again, her worth and potential must be limitless with so high a price.

Just a few thoughts while I look at my little treasure...who is currently crying to be held:)

Nanny, Craig and Caroline (Nanny and Caroline share a middle name:)

2 years old!

Elizabeth is two years old! Kind of crazy how fast it has gone! We went down to North Carolina to visit Craig's family for her birthday. We went swimming that afternoon with all the cousins at the rec center which was great fun. Her favorite activity is swimming:) Then we met up at a beautiful park for pizza, cake, and ice cream. She had fun playing with her cousins and of course inhaling her sprinkle birthday cake. She got lots of dress up clothes this year and so far has had lots of fun with her three tutus and four pairs of princess dress up shoes. She walks in heals better than I do--no joke! She is becoming such a pretty little lady and we love her immensely.

(I have some more pictures to add soon, but my card is being funny.....so.....stay tuned)

Our favorite place is down at the park!

Elizabeth was a big helper yesterday. She was promised if she could be good, take her nap, and listen to Mommy she would get a trip to the park. She was so excited! After being stuck in the house sick with croup for the last week we all needed a trip outside! She woke up from her nap, ran to the garage door and starting saying "Pa Pa Pa" for park--which is huge for her speech by the way! She helped me pack her new backpack with snacks and we were off. I loved seeing her so happy. Ethan had other things he said he would rather do, but was willing to accompany us:)

Confessions of a Chocoholic

Last night Craig was holding little Caroline. He looked down at her and noticed a huge gob of brown something all over her jammie collar and neck. We were obviously alarmed fearing what all parents of small children would fear....you fill in the blanks. He gave her a sniff and was shocked to realize it was actually chocolate.

I laughed and didn't say anything....because I knew the truth. In the midst of two very sick children, constantly nursing and changing a new baby, and trying somehow to feed, clothe, and keep all these people and myself alive, I sometimes boost with a handful of chocolate chips--darn those giant costco bags!! One must have fallen on her some time and melted in her neck. Chubby little babies can hide all kinds of goodies in their double and sometimes triple chins. Oh I laughed, and laughed, and laughed as I bathed her. She obviously enjoyed her chocolate encounter as well! Poor girl is certainly predisposed to this horrible disease I suffer from:)

Doesn't she have the best smile:) There is not a better feeling in the world than seeing your child smile.

Family 5K

We survived our first family 5k! I pushed baby Caroline and Craig pushed Ethan and Elizabeth. It was great! I am glad we had been running before so it wasn't too much of a shock:)

There was even a kids dash afterwards and Ethan won for his age group! He has always loved to run. When he was smaller we use to take him to the mall so he could "go running" and let him run up and down the big department store wings. The sad thing is neither of us saw him run his race! I was at the start but there were so many people there that I didn't make it to the end and a friend told us that he had won...so we are not sure if he did  for sure since the picture Craig snapped looked like he was behind. But he came home with a gold medal...so we assume he won. Either way, we are very proud of him! Now when he runs away from me at the park, grocery store, down the street, or wherever we happen to be I can take comfort in the fact that he is faster than more than just me!

Two months old with a new blanket!

Now that she is two months old, I have finally finished miss Caroline's baby blanket!

 

To my credit I bought the fabric before she was born but didn't even start cutting until after she was born. It became my therapy quilt. Every time in the last two months I needed a moment to myself I worked on her quilt. I can't believe how relaxing and enjoyable it was to put together! Since we didn't find out if Caroline was going to be a boy or girl this is my version of a "gender neutral quilt" I love the bright summer colors since she was born in July--during the hottest week of this year! I hand quilted and tied the quilt just for fun. I thought of my Grandma Rose while I made it. She still makes beautiful quilts and quilts them all by hand. It's almost a lost art. It inspired me to go back and look at my quilts from her and just appreciate them a little more:) When I worked at the Springville Museum of Fine Art we had a quilt show and I was surprised at how few were hand quilted! Anyway....I enjoy quilts...and just art in general:)

This pretty girl also survived her two month shots yesterday. She was a trooper, but I still think it hurts Mama more than baby. While the nurse was giving her shot she pointed out that she looks like me! The first person to say it (besides my own mother of course) It warmed my little mommy heart:) I guess when she is unhappy and in pain we have a similar look...hmmmm....

Our three little amigos

Can you believe how cute these kids are? It's extra easy for me to say that, they are all sound asleep right now:) Oh the fun we have at our house...

 Ethan has started Joy School this fall. He loves it to say the least, I knew he would. He enjoys the three other little boys he gets to play and learn with. Joy School is a preschool mom co-op. Right now he is meeting at a friends house and in a couple months they will get to meet at our house for a month. Mommy is a little nervous, but excited for Ethan.

He has been busy building solar powered robots with daddy (that was his present when Caroline was born) They currently have a solar power windmill standing in our kitchen window. He collects bugs by the hundreds and loves to fill his backpack and pretend to climb mountains and see the world. He also informed me recently to quote, "Mommy, you have a bowl full of jam!" I think he meant to say bowl full of 'jelly' referring to my post pregnancy tummy.....kids just say the darnedest things--and he seems to be full of them these days....If Caroline had been a boy he was insistent on the name 'Santa Claus' (what kid wouldn't want to live with Santa!) and his girl name of choice was Rapunzel.

 My cute little Elizabeth. She has hit her "two's" a little prematurely. I have a feeling Caroline's arrival may have expedited the process, but it is here upon us for better or worse. She is so full of energy I don't think she knows what to do with it half the time! She runs and plays non-stop. She is not talking much still but learning new things every day. She helps Ethan keep track of his blankie, helps him get his shoes when she is ready to go the park and sick of waiting on him, loves to put on makeup and play dress up, but most of all, she loves the attention she gets every time she decimates the toy room leaving every toy scattered around the house.

She loves Caroline. She always wants to hold, kiss, and just love this little baby. The other day I caught her lying in the pack-and-play with her snuggled up to her while she slept! She still calls here "Sasha" instead of her Caroline or even 'baby'. (Sasha is the cats name and just plain easier to say!) She is growing up into an adorable, wild, smart, mischievous, but overall sweet little lady. (the little pigtails just melt me....oh cute:)

 

Now for miss Snow White. She is the "Porsche of babies" as her Daddy calls her. She sleeps at night, she is generally happy and deals very well with two older siblings constantly screaming and jumping around her. She started smiling at about three or four weeks. I know doctors would typically say that is not the case but she was smiling tons the morning of her one month exam and the doctor was thrilled to see her smiling at us! We adore her of course. Our little Caroline Mae is a joy. She is so pretty and we can't wait to get to know her better.

As for Mom and Dad....we are trying to sleep every chance we can and so far have succeeded with our new years resolution of "survival". Actually I feel like we are doing fairly well:) we plan to run our first "family 5-K" next week....we will see how it goes...:) I guess if you don't see a post next week you have your result.